Days After / Magic Wards

For the last few days, I've been on automatic pilot doing those things one does have the death of a relative.

Monday afternoon and part of Tuesday were spent on making the arrangments. Casket, flowers, organist, pall bearers, clothing, hair style, jewlery, service conductor, service time, viewing time, insurances, police escort, grave opening, monument.

Prepayment fees had to be adjusted to reflect inflation. Original casket was no longer produced. Had the grave opening fee been pre-paid? The day of the service, I was told they'd discovered it had been, so I had to tear up one check and write another.

Wednesday afternoon, I tried to track down the owner of the wheel chair since I'd noticed on the medicare forms it was being leased. That turned out to be fairly simple. The company was not far away, so I loaded it into the trunk and carried it over.

Yesterday, I tried to unscramble the various address books. When I moved in, I tried to get everything transferred to one book. But no such luck. She would remember one book, then forget about it, remember another, then forget about it. No she did want to get rid of that one or that one. So alas, many people were not aware of her death. And I'm sure there are some that are still not.

I also called some friends who are in the estate sale business, because I'm lost as to what to try to keep and what to try to sell.

Today, I picked up the mail just before leaving for lunch. And there was a letter from the retirement system, indicating they wanted their February payment back! They would be contacting the bank in a few days to request repayment.

Fortunately, there was a check from her AARP supplemental insurance covering her stay in the hospital at the end of November.

I next headed for the stone mason to have the grave plate updated with her death date.

When I got back home, I called Social Security to find out their policy on payments. Essentially they do not pro-rate payments, so they too will request re-payment from the bank.

Of course, I'd already written checks based on the retirement and SS sums being available. I sat down this afternoon and tried to unscramble what was what. I thought I was ok until I remembered the check I wrote to the funeral home.

As you can see, I have a terrible financial mess to be unraveled. I'm almost certain I'll have to declare bankruptcy.

Then this evening I remembered the hundreds of dollars of medication I have on hand: Glycolax, Restoril, Darvocet, Catpres patches (cost was $25 per), Prilosce (OTC), Namenda, Seroquel, Flomax, Vitamin, B12 (OTC), Potassium, Miacalcin, Avapro, Digitek, Furosemide, Lexapro, Coumadin, Lidoderm patches, Aricept, Omeprazole.

It takes all I can do to open the bedroom door. I see her slippers, her jewelry, a rumpled bed, pillows, a pill box. Photos of me as a baby and as a teenager.

And early in the mornings, I don't want to go on. It just seems too hard. But then I look around and notice the cats are watching me as though they sense something is not quite right. Magic wards keeping evil at bay.

PAX