contours provocations - 2005-0615

contours provocations
journal - 2005-0615 - wed 2000

"Idiot Boy!"; Zegerid vs. Zagreb; Galloping Illiteracy; Stamps; "Road to Moscow" and "Brothers in Arms."

Tuesday evening, before I wrote my journal entry, I had one jolly panic attack. This one was especially nasty, because I did not take an Ativan when it first struck. Ativan as a central nervous system depressant can exacerbate existing depression. Earlier in the day, I'd discussed that concern with the doctor. So I was trying to forgo a doze.

There's a snappy phrase I've heard in English movies that comes to mind. "Idiot boy!" Well, that certainly sums up my attempt. Big fucking mistake.

The panic business is a direct result with trying to deal with mother, her bills, her house, my house, my bills, etc. There are times when it appears overwhelming. And last night was one of those times.

At least I've started back on the Wellbutrin XL 300, and have begun taking Zegerid. And I have every intention of sucking down an Ativan if I sense anxiety.

Since yesterday, I've had this fleeting thoughtlet zipping around in my brain. Something to do with Zegerid. About an hour ago, when it went whizzing by like a Golden Snitch at a Quidditch match, I caught it. I'd been trying at a very low level to think of the city in Crotia that sounds sorta like Zegerid. Zagreb it was. I actually thought of this first, then had to figure which country it was in.

At work, all the web pages I create have a main page for each topic, then a series of additional links in the left column. Someone in-house called me this morning looking for information. And believe it or not, I had to explain the significance of the left column. And I'd had a similiar call a couple of weeks ago.

I guess this goes along with the philosophy that something that does not appear in the upper left quadrant, above the fold, on the home page, doesn't exist.

There's also the belief that anytime someone comes across a reference to our site, I must have had something to do with putting it there. Fucking amazing. Too many people in my corporate world have not a clue as to how the web works. Galloping illiteracy.

The post office has a wonderful new set of stamps out - "Masterworks of Modern American Architecture." I was not familiar with the Vanna Venturi House. Nor with the 860 - 880 Lake Shore Drive building.

My favorites would have to be the New York Guggenheim, the Chrysler Building and the TWA Terminal.

Least favorite, with the feel of a bus station is the National Gallery of Art - East Building. It's a hugh clattery space that denigrates the art within.

Monday I was listening to Radio Paradise and caught Al Stewart's "Roads To Moscow" soon followed by Dire Strait's "Brothers In Arms."

"Road to Moscow" is one of the greatest of rock pieces. With a subject matter unlike any other. From the point of view of a Russian partisan (or regular soldier) fighting the German army as they head toward Moscow in 1941.

If you're interest in the impact of "General Winter" on the invading troops of 1812 and 1941, try Encyclopedia: Russian Winter. Of special significance is the Charles Minard's graph. A terrifying timeline of war.

Radio Paradise allows for listeners to post comments. And in April I'd posted the following comment about "Brothers in Arms."

"Nations make wars not against other countries but against their own citizens. Visit the Vietnam Memorial in Washington and see the 57,000 names of those killed. Average age was 19."

PAX!