Death of a Prince

When I unlocked the back door this evening, I immediately noticed the absence of my biggest kitty Grae. I knew at that instant that he was dead.

Grae was always first at the door, not so much out of a desire to be fed first, but out of determined curiosity. If I didn't watch him, he would slip outside.

My first sensation was confusion, but I managed to walk back to the bedroom, and there he was on the comforter. My guess is he had been dead several hours at least.

I tried to recall if I'd seen him at breakfast. Usually the tribe wakes me at 5, then we all go back to bed. I think I remember seeing him in the kitchen, but I can't be sure. When I got ready for work, he may have indeed been on the comforter, but I can't remember. I'm always preoccupied with getting Minerva out of the closet. (She found a lizard there several weeks ago, so anytime the door is opened she turns into the stealthy hunter.)

Somehow I had enough sense to call a nearby vet and ask what should I do. They said he could be sent to the lab for cremation. Or he could be sent to a pet mortuary for cremation, and the ashes would be returned to me.

My financial situation has been so absurd of late that I had to ask prices. I opted for the cheaper of the two - the lab cremation.

I placed him a white plastic bag and then placed that bag in a large black bag. And slipped it into the trunk. It only took a few minutes to drive to the vet. One of the handlers took the bag. I handed over a credit card for the fee and left a few minutes later. All the time feeling a sense of psychic depletion.

Once home, my brain moved to auto pilot, and I did the usual chores. I talked briefly with my mother, and she was very understanding. And then I talked with a friend who was equally sympathetic.

I then took two Lorazepam, had a bit to eat and then sat down on the couch to write.

Grae was a spledid sentient being. I think we are only capable of understanding felines to a certain degree. Beyond that "There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy."

"Good night sweet prince: And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest!"

PAX!