"Canary in a cage"; How not to use a cell phone; "The Two Towers"; LOTR slash fiction

Today was supposed to be a day to rest. But no such luck. Momsy called about 9 worrying about not having a carbon monoxide detector. She said she been feeling groggy the last couple of nights, and she wondered if the new heating unit was at fault.

Several months ago, the air/heating unit stopped working. So she had it replaced. And the technicians told her she needed a smoke detector and a carbon monoxide detector.

She got the smoke detector by calling the fire department who sent someone to install it.

Since I was going out, I decided I may as well do the laundry. So my first stop was the washeteria where I filled up seven washers. I then darted off to the bank to cash a check. Then to the hardware store, but I couldn't decide if the prices for the detector were reasonable or not.

Next was Home Depot. Where they had smoke detectors, carbon monoxide detectors, smoke AND carbon monoxide detectors, explosive gas detectors and a number of other combinations. I wanted to call a clerk over and say, "Don't you just have a canary in a cage?"

I finally made a decision for a mid-priced one. Headed back to the laundry. Threw all the stuff into dryers. Sat down and read the instructions for the detector. Inserted the batteries and of course it went into test mode with a high squeal.

When the clothes finished, I loaded the car and started toward momsy's. I fumbled with the cellular to call her. And in the process ran a red light and was almost hit by another car. And then I looked in the rear-view mirror and saw a police car. I immediately starting looking for vacant house where I could hide the car. But he turned in another direction. Morale of tale: thy shall not use cell phone while driving.

It took only a few minutes to set up the detector. It has a hinge on the back that allows you to place it anywhere you want. Now I'm hoping the cat doesn't set it off.

At last I made in home again. Lugging in laundry is one of those tasks that seems to take hours. I guess it's all that sorting and hanging once I'm in. I changed the bed, hoovered the bed room, clean up the cat vomit on the bedside phone, and opened the windows for some fresh air. The cats found all this very amusing.

I'd almost forgotten about the scene in which Legolas mounts a galloping horse by grabbing the horse's rein on the right, swinging under the neck and sliding atop from the left.

Certainly this sequence is not spelled out in Tolkien. Nor was the one in "Fellowship" in which Legolas shoots off arrows at lightning speed. But both are exactly what you think Leoglas would be capable of.

I still find Gollum irritating, but it is certainly an amazing feat of cinematic wizardry.

There is an element of Tolkien that has always struck me as homoerotic. The characters are bound by an almost preternatural sense of loyalty. In this case it may be the physical appeal of the performers.

In the early 70s, something called slash fiction appeared. And since then it has enveloped every pairing of male characters. And the men of "LOTR" are no exception. This first page of a Google search for lotr slash only hints at the possibilities.

I must admit that my brain has played with the idea of any number of combinations: most involving Leoglas. (Or Peter Parker from "Spiderman." Clark Kent from "Smallville." Most of the male cast of "Roswell." Daniel Jackson from "Stargate." Batman and Robin.)

PAX!