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contours provocations
journal - 2003-0123 - thu 1830 Brrrrrrrrrr! Taxing Experience! Like a Wino! Ricky Martin Is Gay!?! Seems like last time, I was babbling away about how cold it was. Silly boy! The last two days have made last week appear like "a moon-cast shadow." The highs have been in the 20s; the lows in the teens. But at least, it has been sunny. Whenever it gets really cold, I notice how much more alive my body becomes. I walked out briefly after arriving home, and it was as though my whole body could feel the cold. There was almost a sensual nature to the experience. A few stray snowflakes floated across the sky this morning around 9, and I thought my co-workers were going to go nuts. They were like little kids with their noses pressed against the window. I was sure they were going to sacrifice a virgin to the snow gods. I have the greatest sympathy for those who are homeless. Or for those hitching along a deserted road. Vagabonds and pilgrims, may you find sanctuary! Sunday I decided I'd do my taxes on-line. But first I needed my W-2. Which I knew to be available on-line. But to access it, I needed to access an account. But to do that I needed a temp account to allow me to set up a permanent account. I was able to look back at my pay stub for October to find out how to do that. Then I set up my account. I found the W-2, but it was in pdf format. A couple of months ago, my laptop burped, so I had to reload from the system CD, hence my copy of Adobe was wiped out. So I had to find the Adobe site and download a new version. Eleven meg. Took almost as hour at 56k. Finally, everything's in place. I download the W-2. I go on-line to TaxTurbo which I've used the last two years. They store your records, so you can retrieve information for use on a new tax report. But they did not have me listed. So I had to start afresh. My taxes are not complicated. But I do have to itemize. And I have to also do a state form. So I waded through all kinds of questions. Did I pay taxes on a boat? Did I have any foreign nationals working in my household? Did I purchase a hybrid fuel car last year? So the wee task that I thought I was going to zip through took hours. And my return is not that impressive. I might be able to buy a couple of bags of cat food. The Feb copy of "Details" showed up the other day. With Colin Farrell on the cover looking like a scruffy nerf-hearder. Inside there are several photos showing him as a bedraggled, bummed out stoner. Certainly nothing unusual for a rising top gun kind of young male movie idol. But I always find funny the fine print that indicates the clothing source, stylist, fashion assistant, hair, props and production. Jesus! How much effort does it take to make someone look like a wino. (I mistyped the last word, and it came out "whino.") Hey! Give me $25 and a cup of coffee, and I can make even Richard Gere look like a bum in 15 minutes! Have you noticed that "Details" always has humpy guys on the cover? And at least one "gay" article. And is full of jive-ass high-priced clothes and several fashion spreads. What does this remind you of? The perfect mag for the man who still holds on to the straight sensibility? "Details" also had an article on condoms. A new variety on the market uses tabs. You break open the package in the middle, and the two sections hold the condom as you unfurl it. Takes three seconds or so. Very civilized. Also mentioned was research on a spray-on model. Now that sounds interesting. I came across a gossip list last night that was great fun to read. http://www.retroarts.com/gossiplist/gossiplist.htm. What I like is that it brings together all those rumors that you've heard separately. A couple of surprises to me. Neil Patrick Harris, James Van Der Beek, and Elijah Wood - gay. Matthew McConnaughy - nelly. Jerry Falwell - "raging closet case." I have no idea why I didn't know that. Shades of J. Edgar Hoover. Not so surprising. Jeff Gordon - gay and closeted. Ricky Martin - "gay, gay, gay, gay." Sean Hays - gay. Keanu Reeves - "allegedly enjoys man-meat." It is curious that there always seems to be some hint of truth to gay rumors. I was trying to think of someone who has come out who was a total surprise. But no one comes to mind. PAX!
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