Momsy; Carpet Balls for the Felines; "The Two Towers"

Christmas morning, I finally pulled myself out of bed, whining and complaining all the time. And got ready to go to momsy for the customary gift exchange and lunch.

Momsy has had any number of health issues, including open heart surgery, in the past few years. So whenever I visit, I try to be as upbeat as possible. But it's like being on stage, and I have trouble maintaing the momentum.

(Actually my brain has a build-in emotional delimiter. After about two hours, I begin to become distracted. It's as though I'm struggling to keep a group of objects juggling in the air.)

We chitted and chatted about nonsensical issues. Then she finished her cooking, and there was enough food for ten people: a six-pound turkey, rolls, vegetables, a corn casserole, dressing, apple pie and a cake. And it was all very good, but I never eat big meals.

After lunch we went for a ride up to the reservoir and back: a trip of about 30 miles. She still drives in the neighborhood and to the doctor but seldom ventures beyond. So the ride gave us both a chance to see which previous hay fields were being turned into tiny plots for very expensive homes.

Once back home, we traded gifts. I gave her a scented candle arrangement and a porcelain snowman. Her gift to me was or will be a digital camera, when I have the time to pick out one. She did give me a bag of yarn balls for the cats. Each was wrapped in white tissue paper with a name tag for the respective feline.

When I returned to my wee house, I placed the bag on the floor, gathered the kids around and explained that each one would need find his or her gift. This was met with total disinterest. So I rolled the balls out onto the floor. After about ten minutes, they headed in the right direction. BUT only to play with the bag.

First up was a curious parable about a dreadlocked kid returning money to a preppy-zoidal, stockbroker-looking guy who apparently had just dropped it. I found myself at the end muttering, "Say What!?"

Then the deluge of trailers started. Vin Diesel's latest. Jim Carrey with the powers of God. "Bad Boys II." There were so many, it was a blur.

Finally, TTT began. No review of FOTR, so if you're not familiar with Tolkien, you could have a meltdown. Even if you've read the book, there's a lot to understand. Gandalf is fighting the Balrog. Frodo and Sam are headed toward Mordor. Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli are trying to find Merry and Pippin. M and P are trying to escape from the Uruk-Hai.

To be honest, I've never read TTT with as much attention as I paid to FOTR. So I got a tad confused. But most of the time, I had a general idea what was going on.

TTT is far darker, grittier and more complex than FOTR. There were several romantic scenes centered on Aragorn that I did not recall from the book. And I've read they were indeed additions.

Before seeing TTT, I'd read about what an incredible digital creature Gollum was. And he is. Almost to the detriment of everyone else. No doubt, it is the best example yet of the integration of a digital image into a movie. But it is nearly over the top.

Maybe for the first time, I realized what a sad, pathetic creature Gollum is. Almost mad. Totally corrupted by the ring. Living a twilight existence.

There's a long and hypnotic battle scene at Helms Deep. Every man and boy is enlisted to fight the approaching armies of Saruman. There are several quick shots of old men and kids being outfitted. Aragorn says something along the lines of "These men have seen too many winters." And Legolas replies, "Or too few."

All in all, TTT is a superb example of movie making. Its faithfulness to Tolkien can be argued. And there may be so much going on that the emotional impact is overpowered. The three scenes that resonate with me are the outfitting of the boy soldiers, the madness of Gollum and Frodo's continuing struggle with the ring.

Did I mention that I find Orlando Bloom to be one of the most gorgeous creatures on the planet? Or that Viggo Mortensen leaves me breathless?

PAX!