What a terrible week! Last Sunday afternoon, I was sitting on the couch when I noticed how hot I felt. It took me a few minutes to realize it was fever. In a panic, I raced out the door to see if I could make the clinic before it closed. I managed to beat the deadline by about ten minutes. There was a short wait, then I was called back. The doctor appeared, listened with his stethoscope and said the sinus drainage was headed for my lungs.

I've experienced this situation before, but it is always difficult to recognize. In trying to analyze it, the common symptom is a sore throat that indicates excess drainage. Several years ago, I had a sore throat, that turned into bronchitis, and a day later pneumonia. This was without doubt the worst experience I've ever encountered. It took almost a month to get rid off. And I felt awful, awful, awful! The worst was the incredible depression that made existence seem totaly futile.

In a way I was not surprised that the depression hit again this week as in the past. My guess is that as the system fights the infection, a chemical imbalance occurs. But since, I'm always dealing with a chemical imbalance, the effects are far more pronounced.

Monday and Tuesday, I stayed home. Wednesday afternoon, I forced myself to go to work, which was a wretched mistake. Within about an hour, the fever returned but I couldn't get away. And Wednesday night, it was almost 3, before I went to sleep. So I stayed here Thursday and Friday morning. And went in Friday afternoon.

When I left work, I stopped by a friend's house to check on his cat. It was obvious the kitty misses my friend. And it upset me so much that I wound up on the floor weeping. A very clear sign that my serotonin levels are askew.

Oddly enough, this evening I actually feel better. A marked difference from this morning. So I'm hoping this will continue for a day or so at least.

There is very little else to tell. The cats appeared to enjoy my presence here. And I thought several times about how much they mean to me. And I also thought about the fact that they are my emotional outlet for love.

PAX!