At the beginning of the week, in addition to dealing with a sinus infection that has turned out to be a real pain, I noticed my mouth was becoming sore. When I looked in the mirror, I saw a number of lesions on my tongue, and I immediately recognized them as "mouth ulcers." I've experienced them many times before, and they are among my least favorite maladies.

They are a mysterious ailment with no consensus on cause or treatment. Every doctor I've asked about them has said something different. From what I've read they may be triggered by stress and/or cold. People with allergies experience them more than others. They may be symptomatic of a virus that also causes fatigue, headaches, and nausea.

It has been several years since I last experienced them, and I'd forgotten how debilitating they can be. The most significant problem is that the areas become hyper-sensitive and very sore. Trying to eat can be downright painful.

Tuesday night, between the lingering sinus problem and the lesions, I got only a limited amount of sleep. So Wednesday I stayed home and tried to rest. Thursday morning, I was not sure if I should go to work or not. But in another one of those great moments of dedication and fortitude, I went in. MISTAKE! By mid-afternoon, my mouth was so irritated, I could barely talk. By the end of the day, I felt terrible. Quickly as I could I headed for the clinic. Fortunately, the wait was short. (Whose idea was to install a tv in waiting room?)

The nice doctor gave me prescriptions for an ointment and a gargle. To prepare the gargle, the pharmacist took a bottle, poured in something I couldn't see, then added a bright orange liquid, and finished with something that looked like glycerine.

Once I got home, I set about to use the ointment. To apply the ointment you rub it on your finger to create a paste, then attempt to place it on your tongue. The next time you're not doing anything, trying coating the tip of your tongue with an ointment. I finally stuck my tongue out, grabbed it with one hand and applied the paste with the other. The paste immediately crumbled into something like wet sand, and I frantically tried not to swallow any.

The gargle has the consistency of melted gelatin and the taste of chalk. And you don't so much gargle as you swish it around in your mouth and hope you don't drink it.

Today, I stayed home, and more or less, hoped someone would shoot me. However, this evening, I feel slightly better.