Several months ago, Time Warner (local cable service provider) had a preview weekend for the Sundance Channel. You may or may not know that this is an outgrowth of the Sundance Film Festival. So the Sundance Channel has a rep for offering independent and quirky films. (Being an independent and quirky guy, I like independent and quirky films.) Well, it was a wonderful experience. I actually watched for a change. Almost always, I'll read the newspapers, or type on the computer, or play with the kittens, or play with myself, as the TV is on.

The most incredible film I saw was called "Pi." Actually, the title is the Greek symbol for pi, but I've never figured out how you make that symbol. (Most likely an alternate character set.) A story of a Jewish mathematician who thinks he's found a sequence in the repetition of pi - a sequence that may spell a surefire way to play the stock market. So, of course, a group appears wanting the formula. Also, an ultra-orthodox Jewish sect believes it may contain a way to discover the name of God. (There was a lot more here concerning Jewish mysticism that I don't clearly recall.) A movie about obsession. Done very cheaply in black and white. And utterly fascinating.

In addition, there were several other noteworthy offerings that made me a big advocate of the channel. But I didn't see any publicity about an actual offering. Then last week, an article popped up in the paper talking about new channels, among which was Sundance.

Last Friday evening, using my new cordless phone, (Remember it?), I punched up TW. The new service is called dtv - digital tv - "It's not regular TV...It's Digital TV!" The service is so new that the custom service rep was as confused as I was. And about ten minutes after I finished, I asked myself, "What did I just order?" The service requires a new converter, and the earliest date it could be installed was Tuesday.

Yesterday, I raced home to wait for the installer. About six, a small red truck pulled into the drive. The cats, as is usual, vanished. The technician came in and started switching boxes and setting up the new one. Within minutes Athena and Minerva were at the door, peering around to see who the nice man was. "Ah! A new fan!" "Sniff! Sniff! Sniff!" "Are we not the most adorable creatures you've ever seen!"

The installation was quick and painless, and the newest member of the Athena and Minerva fanclub departed for another venue. I sat on the couch and looked at the new remote. I sat on the couch and looked at the new remote. I sat on the couch and looked at the new remote. Then I sat on the couch and looked at the channel lineup. Then I sat ... Then I asked myself, "What did I just order?"

Apparently there are seemingly and literally hundreds of options in various packages. There is basic service, an a la carte package, a standard tier, a digital tier, digital premiums, pay-per-view digital channels, sports packages and music choice channels. I punched in 101, and there were the Brewer Twins in the semi-nude modeling Tom of Finland garb. They were part of a program on the Style channel. The Style Channel?! Never heard of it before yesterday. (The Brewers are certainly cute in an existentialist LA surf-boy kind of way. Although maybe a wee bit superficial.)

Sundance, dummy! Sundance! Oh, yea! At last, there it was at 130. But I jumped over to the six HBO's. Six? I punched and switched and jumped and plussed and minussed for an hour. Up and down my nimble little digits went. At the end, the only thing I could recall was hearing the Skipper yelling, "Gilligan, you bitch, get in here!"