Karma and Saudade

Was I not just sick with a tummy bug? Yes, I know I was! Lo and behold! I now have a sinus infection!!! What have I done to deserve this? I help old ladies cross the street. I smile at little children. I pat little doggies. I fly the American flag from my kitchen window. I have a picture of George Washington in my parlor. I try to avoid political arguments. I'm not strident about being "funny." What have I done in a past life to atone for? My karma appears to be rotten.

I've dabbled with past life regression, but all I could come up with was that I was a scribe in ancient Greece. A monk on one of the Irish islands during the Dark Ages. And an unemployed actor in Hollywood in the late 40s. Certainly nothing to cause such grief.

About a week ago, I picked up CRY DANCE by Kirk Mitchell. A "nail-bitingly intense...breathless page-turner...with memorable Native American myths." Or at least that's what the blurb on the back cover says. Another variation of Tony Hillerman's novels. However, there was a portion that caught my attention.

"From the beginning he'd consumed liquor only to get drunk. That was half of the equation. The other was the haunting sense that something fundamental to his happiness, his wholeness, been taken from him. When sober, he couldn't name it." [He remembers a trip to Lisbon with his first wife who is a fashion designer.] "...her buyer there...had taken the Parkers out for a night of fados. Fate songs. ... He asked the buyer what the lyrics meant, and the man explained , 'Saudade, my friend...the presence of absence.' "

"The presence of absence." What a fascinating concept. Revealing what is there by what is not there. I've often thought that we may tell more by what we don't say than by what we say.

PAX!