Rotten; Compatibility; 08:00 - Early Morning; Terrapindreams

Most of the morning I spent in bed feeling rotten. But I can't exactly say why. Fatigue, I guess. There were several times since the weekend that I've felt unusually depressed. Even with my daily dose of Effexor, there are times when I'm all too conscious of depression. And there is usually a direct correlation with fatigue. Last night I woke up several times and thought that if I didn't feel better by morning, I'd stay home and sleep.

One of the journals that I read is Keith Cam. Keith lives in San Francisco and has a web site that offers a photo journal, a cam and a private gallery. Even with the enticing photos, it is the journal that draws me back each time. He recently made an interesting admission: he said he had resigned himself to not being able to find a partner. I've noticed that he would mention someone now and then, but then little more would be said.

This has made me wonder what is necessary for two guys to click. Is it a matter of common likes or dislikes? Shared enthusiasm? Similar backgrounds? I keep waiting to have the answer revealed, but it does not happen. And it certainly does not appear to be an uncommon concern. Possibly, compatibility, or lack thereof, is the most shared issue among gay journal writers. I'm tempted to echo Keith's sentiments, but I don't want to.

Time to finish!

It is early, at least in terms of the work world, and I'm at home feeling lousy, tired and achy. I'm online to e-mail work to let them know I'd try to come in this afternoon.

Time to finish!

Before signing off, I decided to read terrapindreams. (Update 04/08: No longer available) Each time I read his work, I think of Kerouac and the Beats. Last night, in fact, I watched a documentary about them, one of the few I've seen. Intellectual gadflys who managed to prick the skin of American conformity and were regarded as an oddity. But their howl may have helped to spawn the protest movements, sexual revolution, etc.

Toward the end, a comment was made about how the Beats live on in the works and personalities of more recent artists. Terrapindreams is certainly a fine example. My guess is that all angst-driven music from Dylan to Corbain to Radiohead derive from the Beat ethos.

That's all for the AM. Back to bed.

PAX!