This is a Survivor-Survivor story, that is to say a relative of a survivor dated 6/27/97.

This story was sent to me before I had any definite policies on putting stories on my site. Though E. gives permission to use his story, litigation is involved so I decided to make it anonymous. Names are arbitrary letters of the alphabet.

Bill,

Thanks for such a quick reply to my e-mail...here is my complete story...

I met S in 1988. We dated and lived together for just over 3 years prior to marriage. We began a beautiful life together with many things to look forward to. Our life together included building our family by having our child T in 1993 and an addition to our home to provide a place to conduct her hair business. Everything seemed to be perfect for so long.

In 1994 we both lost a parent to illness, my mother to cancer and her father to heart failure. S sought medical relief for her anxieties through a psychiatrist. Her diagnosis was obsessive compulsive and post traumatic stress disorder. The drugs Xanax and Prozac were administered and it helped her greatly. Over time the dosages were steadily increased until by August 1996 she was on a very high dosage of both medications…3mg/per day Xanax & 60mg/per day Prozac. These prescriptive medications had caused her to become very brassy and flamboyant at times. She would wear provocative clothing and strive to seek the attention of strangers.

By the following year in April 1996 I discovered she was having a secretive relationship with an old friend by the name of R. He is married, has children and is a warrant officer in the US Army. I personally contacted him by phone and explained the repercussions and risks he would have if he continued seeing S, ie discovery by his spouse and his commanding officer. He immediately discontinued this relationship. He did confirm they had met in private and were intimate on those occasions. After a period of time I felt S was back on track in our marriage and she seemed more loving and open with me until about November 1996.

On or around Thanksgiving I discovered a phone number she had written down covertly inside a makeup container. I confronted her with it and she told me "I did not want to know." I later called the number and discovered that it was to an individual named D. He is an EMT. I questioned him a length and he admitted that S had made a pass at him and they had a "special friendship." He also admitted they had been places together and that she had been to his home. He told me that usually she was intoxicated when she would call him or come by. S later confirmed all this to me and said that she just wanted to have a male friend. I made it known through a telephone conversation with D not to contact or be with S ever again. I found out this relationship still continued through early January 1997.

Now that this was a second occurrence I was looking for answers to why this going on. I noticed that early in the morning S seemed to be "herself" (loving, caring, sorrowful for her actions, etc). At 11am she would take her medication Prozac 60mg. By 2-3pm she would become brassy. By late afternoon she became very flamboyant. Here in early January she would wear shirts that she had cut off to the bare midriff and shorts that showed the cheeks of her butts. She would spend long periods of time refreshing her makeup and hair and would just go out. >From December thru February I kept notations of what nights she would stay out, either very late or completely overnight. There were 11 times. She offered no explanation or would just comment that she needed her space.

Late December 1996 we searched for a psychologist for marriage counseling. We had two sessions. S indicated to him that she had feelings of wanting to flee, to go out and experience life without the offering of any explanations or having any ties. She wanted to still maintain our home and marriage. When asked how I felt about this I explained that it would be fine with me as long as we made it a legal separation. She was not for that idea. It was at this time that the Dr. said "S, you are not going to like what I have to say. You want your cake and eat it too." His suggestion to us was for S to take on more responsibilities at home.

During this time I was in constant contact by phone and personal visits to her psychiatrist and his nurse. I discussed with them at lengths about S’s behavior. It was at this time we decided to adjust her medication.

I personally researched the drug Prozac and discovered that in 25% of the cases of people on this drug it causes a condition called Akathisia. This condition’s symptoms include discussions by the patient of suicide intentions, complete detachment from the people in their life, socially irresponsible and inappropriate behavior. It was her Dr’s. recommendation to take her completely of Prozac. Starting in the second week of January we did just that. Within two weeks S become more in touch with her feelings, her affection towards me improved. Her closeness with everyone in the family became better. She became more involved with her business and home and showed more attention and patience with our son. She also started going to Alcoholic Anonymous.

On February 4th she attended a AA meeting with a long time friend R [a female]. After the meeting they decided to stay out all. S called me several times that night on our cell phone while driving and she told me they were drinking alcohol and riding around. She advised me that she was going to move out and that she longed for the gentler touch of a woman, indicating to me in reference to lesbian acts. I did not hear from her again until the next morning and she was at the AA location from the night before and I went to pick her up. I was very nice and understanding to get her to come home and get rest to avoid missing her scheduled customers of the day. I called and canceled her customers so she could sleep that day.

On February 6th I called in the family to help in a discussion about her activities. We all had a positive emotional night with S committing to us in a written statement that she knew she had a wonderful family, son and husband and that she was responsible for her actions and that they not only affected her but everyone in connection with her. This was signed and witnessed by her and her mother and sister, my father, my sister and me. For two weeks she tried very hard to make her life to order. And then another episode of being out all night.

At this point I became disgusted with trying to help her and turned to our minister for prayer. He was a great source of inspiration to me during these trouble times. S even contacted him and prayed over the phone to receive Jesus back into her heart. However on the 24th of February she became intoxicated at home and left the home on foot at 5:30pm while I had gone to pick up our son from his daycare. I did not hear from her until the next morning at which time she filed a police report for rape against a man named U. She was treated at and voluntarily admitted herself to a Chemical Dependency Unit. She stayed there from February 25th until March 3rd, 1997. She was released and did somewhat better for about a week until her anxiety attacks worsened. I called her Dr. and made an appointment for March 19th. He saw both of us in his office, diagnosed her as bi-polar (manic-depressive), prescribed Paxil and Clomezapam. The next night she stayed out till 1:30am and Friday the 21st stayed out all night until Saturday at 10:30 am. During this episode of the 21st she went to her sister’s home to visit, left our son there to go drinking and dancing and returned at 2:15am intoxicated. She tried to take T and V(S’s sister) told that she would bring T home. V brought T home at 3:30am. S returned home the next morning at 10:30am and acted as if nothing should be wrong.

I told S that I would seek legal counsel the following week and she packed a bag and took personal belongs and left the marital residence on March 23rd. During the course of the next three days she stayed away at night and came home in the morning in an effort to work her business here. I now have been informed by a guy named J that she is staying with his roommate W at his same address. There is a relationship, romantic and sexual, going on with W. On Thursday, March 27 she was served my complaint and temporary order.

During the course of these events from about November through the present she would at times become violent, throw items towards me, was accusative of my fidelity towards her and very short and impatient with our child.

It is very difficult for me to share these embarrassing experiences with family and friends. I have always been here for S for strength at her weakest moments, for encouragement and guidance. Our whole family is very close and very concerned for her safety and well being.

I love S very much still. It is my belief that the medication she is currently taking and at times combining it with alcohol causes her to be unstable and at risk for personal injury and the detriment of others. I have and will continue to offer support to get her to professional help. I sincerely believe she truly thinks, and has indicated to family members and me, that she has done no wrong.

I only want the best for S and our son and I think his best interests will be served by me continuing to having custody of him. I have cared for him and consoled him through her absences and maintained a safe and secure environment conducive towards growth, mentally and morally. I am successful in the business I have done for almost ten years and can provide for him financially.

I can only hope for the day when S will come to realize that the events and problems that have happened can be worked out through therapy, faith and love.

Sorry to bore you with all the details but facts like these should be made known to everybody who is on or thinking about taking Prozac....For some people it may be helpful but for others, like my wife, it is a very dangerous psycho-tropic drug. It seems to me that many psychiatrists prescribe a pill before they need too. I think that most of them have their heads in the sand! Feel free to use my story.

Thanks Bill...

E.